


One Last Goodbye

by Oakwyrm



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Afterlife, F/M, I am a HORRIBLE PERSON
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:41:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3830770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oakwyrm/pseuds/Oakwyrm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kíli can only watch as Tauriel fades.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Last Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [determamfidd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/determamfidd/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sansûkh](https://archiveofourown.org/works/855528) by [determamfidd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/determamfidd/pseuds/determamfidd). 



> I am so sorry. Genuinely I am very, very sorry.  
> I don't do sad very well. I just broke my own heart a little. Or a lot.

Her eyes were dull. That was the only thing to be noticed, at first. They lacked that spark of fire and love and life that they had held before. She started taking less care of herself. Her hair was more often unbraided and in a disarray than in the neat style she had worn before.

Then her skin started to grow paler. So pale she seemed almost translucent. She was loosing that wonderful lively fire that he loved and he could do nothing. Even worse, he knew it was his fault.

Tauriel was fading, and it was entirely his fault.

He could have kicked himself. Did, often enough, when he wasn't busy putting on a brave face for Thorin. His uncle needed him right now, and it was admittedly a needed distraction. At least Bilbo showed no signs of dying of a broken heart.

He growled to himself and smashed his fist into the wall. What good was he? All he ever did was cause her pain. Contempt from her kin, exile and now she was dying, she, who should have lived forever, was _dying._ Because of _him_. He let his outrage at the world escape him in a savage scream that turned into a whimper as he sank to the floor of his chambers.

If he was Thorin he could have become a whirlwind of rage and destroyed his room, and likely half of his bones, in the process. But he wasn't Thorin, though at the moment beating his room into rubble sounded rather tempting. No, he was Kíli, and so he wept. What else was there to do? She was truly beyond his reach now. Dying of a broken heart. A heart that she had wrongfully given into his hands.

True, _he_ had no choice in the matter, once his feelings for her were certain. She was his One, odd as it may seem, but she, she could have loved anyone. She could have given her love to the blond twit and he would have been happy, because then she would still be smiling. She would not be slipping ever further from the Elf maid he had seen surrounded by the fairest light in the whole of creation.

“Kee?” a hesitant voice and a knock at the door yanked him harshly away from his thoughts. He took a deep breath and hastily wiped his tears. Putting his customary grin on he walked to the door and opened it to his brother.

It was no use. Fíli took one look at his brother and instantly surmised he had been right in his speculations. Kíli had been crying, and Fíli knew exactly why. Hastily he stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him.

Kíli lost him composure the instant the door closed again. He sagged against his brother and shook with suppressed tears. Fíli just held him, patiently waiting for his little brother to cry himself out.

When at last Kíli started to try to wiggle free Fíli steered them firmly over the bed, sitting down and looking long and hard into his brother's face. He sighed, what he found there was not good. How Kíli could be fooling anyone was beyond him. His brother had dark circles under his red, swollen eyes and his hair was more a bird's nest than actual hair.

Sighing Fíli turned his brother around and went to work on the tangled mess. If he didn't, no one would. Well, Hrera might, but knowing Kíli's patience for such things that would likely end up being a complete and total disaster. He waited for Kíli to speak. Partially because he really didn't know what to say.

“She's dying Fee,” Kíli's voice and so painfully small and frail. Fíli didn't answer immediately waiting for Kíli to continue as he fought what looked to be a loosing battle with the wild dark hair. “She's... she's fading, she's dying because of me!” the last part sounded more than a little hysterical and Fíli winced. There.

“Kíli...” he said softly. “Nadadith,” he abandoned his work he turned Kíli to face him again and leaned their foreheads together.

“Fíli you haven't seen her! She's just waning away, it's horrible!” Kíli cried and Fíli wished there was something he could do. “And it's all my fault,” Kíli finished miserably. Fíli growled a little.

“No,” he said firmly and took hold of Kíli's shoulder, perhaps a little harder than he should have but he got his brother's full attention and that was the point. “Kee, you can't blame yourself for this! Loving you was her choice, no one forced her to care for you!” Kíli didn't seem convinced.

“But if I had never come into her life she would still be smiling, still be laughing! Not... withering away like a flower without the sun,” he put his face in his hands and Fíli sighed.

“Kíli, you. Are. Not. To. Blame!” Fíli bit out, willing his brother to understand. “And for all you know she could still gather her wits about her and sail!” Kíli looked up and there was the faintest spark of hope in his eyes. Fíli felt like a mountains was lifted off his chest at the sight of it.

“You think she might?” he asked. Fíli frowned.

“I don't know the mind of your Elf, nadad,” he said. “But she might yet,” Kíli seemed to relax a bit and suddenly yawned. Fíli smiled. Crying was tiring work.

He stood and sent a firm glare down at his brother.

“Now, since 'amad can't do it, I suppose I must. Get some sleep, that's an order,” Kíli actually laughed and Fíli found himself chuckling.

“Your impression of her is absolutely horrible,” Kíli told him and Fíli whacked him lightly on the back of the head.

“That doesn't change the fact that it's late and I want to get some sleep myself, if you don't mind,” Fíli found himself yawning and Kíli grunted before yawning himself.

“I'm about to keel over,” he admitted reluctantly and Fíli nodded, finding his job done for the moment and made his way sleepily over to the door.

“G'night Kee,” he mumbled on the way out, finally letting his exhaustion take hold.

“'Night,” came the half-asleep answer from Kíli and Fíli smiled, stopping briefly to blow out the candles before shutting the door. He shook his head.

“He needs to take better care of himself,” he muttered.

“Aye, and that's why you've been running yourself into the ground worrying about him, I suppose?” Fíli jumped.

“'Adad!” he complained but Víli held up a hand.

“I will hear nothing from you, bed. Now!” Fíli found himself being pushed to his quarters by the gentle but firm hands of his father.

***

Tauriel sat on the grass, staring up at the sky ignorant of the dwarf beside her, tearing at his hair in frustration at his helplessness. Soon now, she knew. Soon her fëa would leave her.

Where exactly it would go she did not know. There were no others near her, no living creature approached her. The few elves who had spoken to her after the battle left her in peace. They knew as well as she that nothing was to be done.

She closed her eyes and his face appeared before her. Then she exhaled and slid effortlessly out of her body. For a few seconds she merely stood there before she opened her eyes. If she had breath left it would have been knocked out of her.

“Kíli...” she whispered. The dwarf looked up at her, eyes wide with shock and confusion.

“Tauriel?” she started towards him even as he started fading from her sight and vanished, replaced by a vast hall.

“Welcome to Mandos, daughter of the forest.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Nadadith - little brother  
> Nadad - brother


End file.
